God is at work!

Welcome, Encouragement Cafe friends...I'm so glad you're here!

When recording Bible verses in my journal or on memory cards I often write them out like this:

"And we know that
in all things
God works
for the good
of those who love Him,
who have been called
according to His purpose."
               Romans 8:28

Writing verses this way highlights key points for me that I might normally miss when I read them as a printed sentence in my Bible. Each grouping of words is a unique set of ideas contained within the verse.

The idea that 'in all things God works' jumped out at me when I wrote this verse in my journal last week. After looking at it from a different 'angle' I was reminded that God is the one who is at work on my behalf. God is involved in my life and it is for my good. So glad I saw that!

What do you see in this verse that you haven't noticed before? I would love to hear what you discovered.

Finally, an update!

We have been home for a week now and it has been two weeks since John Mark's surgery. So much has happened yet I can't believe time has passed so quickly. 

We are thankful that there have been no problems with his heart. He will see his surgeon on Thursday for a post-op visit and to have his stitches removed.

However, John Mark has continued to experience anxiety, confusion and sleeplessness. Our doctors assure us that this is to be expected after all that his body has been through. He was on the bypass machine for over four hours and under anesthesia for more than eight. All of that in addition to the surgery itself has been a lot for his body and mind to handle. He has made some improvement these past few days and we are encouraged to see more of our John Mark shining through.

We have been blessed in so many ways these past two weeks.We are grateful for your prayers, the cards sent, meals cooked, visits, phone calls, pets cared for, mail picked up, and for the words of encouragement left here, on our CaringBridge guestbook and on Facebook. Each of you have reached out to John Mark and to our family to let us know that you love us and care about what is happening. Please know that each thing you have done has made a difference to us. Really. No question about it.

We give all praise to our amazing God. He alone has upheld us and given us the strength to care for John Mark's needs. When He promised that He would be with us He meant it. We have needed Him close by and He has followed through on what He said He would do. We have every reason to believe that He will continue to honor His promises in the future.

God is with us.

John Mark, who is 28 years old, was born with a genetic birth defect, called DiGeorge Syndrome also known as 22q, His medical condition includes Spina Bifida, hydrocephalus with a VP shunt, congenital heart defect, an ileostomy and an ostomy bag, neurogenic bladder, and autistic tendencies. These terms are unfamiliar to many, but to him, they are just a part of who he is.His whole life has been filled with a variety of surgeries, doctors visits and medical procedures. He has had over 30 surgeries on almost every area of his body.

He is now scheduled to have open heart surgery to correct an aortic root dilation on Monday, August 13, 2012. This condition was discovered during a recent routine cardiology check up.

John Mark sees a variety of specialists that oversee the different areas of his medical condition. When he was five months old JM had successful open heart surgery to correct two holes in his heart. After being followed for the first few years of his life by a cardiologist we stopped going because all was healed and was working properly.

That was over 20 years ago.

What has happened these past few weeks has been a miracle, a realization that God is fully involved in John Mark's life. I believe that He gave me the idea that JM needed to see a cardiologist for a check up. Our primary doctor referred us to a specialist, who, during our visit discovered that JM has an aortic root dilation. This was a complete surprise to all of us and totally unexpected.

John Mark then had further testing at Northwestern Memorial Hospital by their team of congenital heart specialists. It is at their recommendation that JM have this surgery to correct the problem. If this part of his heart was left unrepaired it could eventually rupture and it would be fatal.

So, you see how the Lord knew that JM's heart had this problem, He had me get JM the help he needed, and that now this surgery will help save his life. God is good! He is with us to save us! I praise Him for being involved in our lives.

Will you please pray with us as we prepare for this surgery?

Please pray for John Mark. He has many anxieties over this operation and we want him to be as comfortable as possible in these weeks ahead. Also, please pray that his healing process would be free from complications, and that he would return to full strength safely. His recovery could be a long one...at least 6 weeks.

Please pray for the doctors and medical staff that will be taking care of him. Surgery will be done at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago on Monday, August 13, where JM will receive the excellent care that is appropriate to his medical and developmental condition.

Please pray for Mark and me, our daughter, Alyssa, and our families as we prepare ourselves to be there for John Mark during this very important time in his life.

Thank you!

Different Dream Parenting

Whenever I meet the mother of a special needs child I always feel an instant connection with her. I find great comfort and encouragement in knowing that there is someone else who understands what I am going through.


Today I want to introduce you to our guest blogger, Jolene Philo, one such friend of mine. While we have never met in person we have gotten to know a little about each other through email. I felt that connection with her from her very first email when she told me that her son, who is just two years older than my own, was born with a birth defect. She had read my blog post about the story of the day John Mark was born, and found that we had similar experiences. She is someone who understands what I have gone through.


Jolene is the author of two books which are fantastic resources for parents of special needs kids. I will let her tell you about her most recent book, Different Dream Parenting. Her website, Different Dream, is a great resource as well...please check it out! 


I am giving one of these books away and you can find out how at the end of Jolene's post. I will also be blogging several times in the next few weeks about my experiences raising John Mark and how they relate to different topics in Jolene's book. There will also be some surprise giveways!

Now, meet Jolene!

When our beautiful newborn boy was transferred to a regional hospital, my husband and I felt lost at sea. A few hours later, we learned that our baby required immediate surgery at a university hospital 750 miles away. Without it, he would die. That news threw us overboard. We longed for someone who could come alongside and pull us out of the water. A book to chart a map through unfamiliar waters and assure us of God’s presence.

But our son was born in 1982 when pediatric medicine was a relatively new field. Families like ours were hard to find. Parenting books hadn’t been written. The internet didn’t exist. Over the next twenty years, even after the surgeries and medical procedures that corrected our son’s condition were over, my search for parenting resources yielded scant results. Eventually, I sensed God nudging me to come alongside young parents lost at sea like we had been, to create a map they could follow.

Different Dream Parenting: A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs is that map. It’s a map for parents of kids living with medical special needs as well as conditions like Down Syndrome, juvenile diabetes, developmental delays, and autism, and those facing a terminal diagnosis. It guides parents by providing tools and resources they need to become effective advocates for their kids.

The book features interviews, advice, and resources from more than fifty families and two dozen professionals. With their help, the book addresses the situations parents face every day. Things I wish someone had told me, like:

•       Asking questions after diagnosis.

•       Dealing with insurance companies.

•       Preparing a child for a hospital stay.

•       Accessing financial resources and government monies.

•       Accessing special education services.

•       Determining optimum level of care.

•       Mobilizing volunteers at home.

•       Supporting the sibs.

•       Preparing a child for death.

•       Planning a funeral.

•       Participating in community and church events.

•       Creating a special needs trust for adult children with special needs.

In addition to practical advice, Different Dream Parenting tackles spiritual questions families are often afraid to ask. Questions about:

•       God’s sovereignty

•       Parental guilt

•       Setting and maintaining spiritual priorities

•       Grieving for children living with special needs

•       Grieving the death of a child

•       Passing faith on to children with special needs

Thirty day prayer guides in the appendices are for parents too exhausted to form their own prayers.

I remember what it’s like to be lost at sea, thrown overboard by an unexpected diagnosis, and drowning under a flood of caregiving demands. My goal is to put Different Dream Parenting into the hands of floundering parents so they have a map and know they’re not alone. To order the book, visit www.DifferentDream.com and click on the “buy the book” tab.

Jolene has given me a copy of her book to share with one of you! Just leave a comment here. If you have a story to share about your own child we would love to hear it! If not just say 'I'm in!' and you will be included, too! A winner will be drawn randomly on Saturday, Jan. 14, so make sure you leave your email with your comment so I can contact you if you win.

a new year and 36 years of new life!

Today is a very special day for me. Not only is it the first day of a new year, but it is the day I celebrate as the start of my spiritual life, my Jesus birthday! It was 36 years ago today that I gave my life to the Lord. He changed the course of my life all of those years ago. I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for Him. I love Him so much!

This is also the start of a special series of posts that I will be doing this month. I will be sharing several stories from my life that relate to my faith and my life as a caregiver for John Mark. I will also be introducing you to a special friend of mine who has written a book on parenting special needs kids.

There will also be several giveaways next week. Keep an eye out for them so you can be sure to enter and win some great gifts!

Below is a post I wrote to tell the story of the night that changed my life. It is my hope that you see how amazing the Lord is and learn how He reached out to me.

God bless!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My father’s question changed the course of my life that first night of January, 1976.  I lay in a hospital bed the night before surgery. I was 19 and had come home from college a few weeks earlier to see our family doctor about a lump I could feel and see on the left side of my neck. He recommended a surgeon who soon had me scheduled for the procedure.

As my parents were about to leave me for the night I was feeling afraid and anxious. The surgery was going to be a risky one, possibly leaving the left side of my face paralyzed. I was scared and so were they. That is what motivated my father to ask me a question he had never asked me before. He asked me if it was alright if we prayed and asked God to take care of me during the surgery.   

That doesn’t sound like an odd request coming from a father who sent his daughter through 13 years of parochial school. But, praying together as a family at home was something we never did, except for saying grace at our meals.

I agreed, and as he prayed I was overcome with an incredible sense of my unworthiness. I thought ‘why would God want to help me when I had been doing so many bad things?’ My father didn’t know the things I was doing at college, but I realized that God did.

I kept these thoughts to myself when he finished his prayer. We hugged and they left for home. As I looked around my room I saw a crucifix on the wall across from my bed. I focused on that cross and said a prayer of my own to the Lord. I asked Him to forgive me for all of the wrong things I had been doing. I gave Him my life and told Him that He could do whatever He wanted with it. And, of course, I asked Him to take care of me during my surgery.

This prayer that I now know to be the ‘sinner’s prayer’ was totally motivated by the conviction of the Holy Spirit in my heart. I had never been told about this prayer before. It was God working in me to bring me to salvation. My heavenly Father was reaching out to me through my earthly father.

When I said yes to my father’s prayer I was given the chance to answer a question of even greater importance that God Himself was asking me. “Would I give my life to Him and trust Jesus as my Savior?”

Saying yes to both my earthly father and Heavenly Father changed the course of my life that night. I am eternally blessed to have had the opportunity to answer both of their questions.

what's your secret?

Welcome to those stopping by after sampling my Detours Dinner Special at Encouragement Cafe'!

Question for you...would you be willing to share a secret you have learned as a result of going through a difficult situation?

I am only asking because I believe that each of us have learned something that would encourage others facing tough times. And we all have tough times...that is a fact and not a secret!

Whatever you share will be a blessing to me and to anyone else who will stop by to read it...so if you're willing please leave it as a comment below.

I can't wait to hear your secret!

Kelly's Korner: Show us your life...special needs families

Hi! So glad you stopped by! If you are here because of Kelly's SUYL Special Needs Families I hope you will be encouraged to see what the Lord has done in my life as a wife and mom of two fantastic kids, one of whom is disabled.

John Mark is pictured here with his new puppy, Gia.

Our son, John Mark, is a 27 year old young man who loves contemporary Christian music and going to his favorite bands' concerts; he never wants to miss church on Sunday, and is a faithful fan of his favorite sports teams: the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago Bulls and the Green Bay Packers. Plus, he is a true extrovert...he loves to be out doing something with people...going to movies, restaurants and youth group. And, he has a solid faith in the Lord!

He was also born with a genetic birth defect, called DiGeorge Syndrome, that includes Spina Bifida, hydrocephalus, autistic tendencies, and ulcerative colitis. These terms are unfamiliar to many, but to him, they are just a part of who he is.

His whole life has been filled with a variety of surgeries, doctors visits and medical procedures. But several years ago John Mark faced the biggest challenge of his life. We had just moved to the Chicago area where my husband is pastoring a church. After completing four years of high school, John Mark was ready to get a part time job here in town. His health was good and we were looking forward to settling into our new life here.

But soon John Mark's health started to deteriorate and he was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Within a matter of weeks he developed a rare infection called toxic megacolon and needed emergency surgery to remove his large intenstines. He was in ICU for 6 weeks, in the hospital for 12 weeks total, and then spent the summer in rehab. It has taken him awhile to recover from all of this, but it is worth it...he is here and he is doing well...but this latest surgery has left him with the need for full time assistance with his medical care, which now includes an ostomy bag.

My life has also changed as a result of all this...I have chosen to be John Mark's full time caregiver, being with him to help him do things he is now unable to do for himself. We are so grateful to the Lord for providing for all of John Mark's needs and for preserving his life for the purposes He has in mind.

Now that you know a little about us, I would love to learn more about you and the special needs child/adult in your life. How has that child changed you or how you live your life because they are in it? I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

this boy

Today is this boy's 27th birthday!

This boy who:

eats chocolate chip cookies and chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream

listens to his favorite bands and their albums on his ipod in the same order every time he puts on his headphones

cracks me up with his witty sense of humor and creative comebacks

is up at 9am every weekday to watch The Price is Right at 10am

remembers everyone's birthdays and favorite sports teams

never says anything negative about anyone he knows

loves his cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, sister and parents

has memorized the entire Chicago Cubs 2011 season schedule (and every season for the past 15+ years)

asks everyone he knows if they've seen The Office, Galaxy Quest or That Thing You Do

does not like the Grand Canyon

loves to connect with friends and family on Facebook

hates to hear someone swear

teases his Grandpa DeRosa about not having any hair

can quote lines from his favorite songs and movies

would live in a hotel and eat at Arby's or Taco Bell everyday of his life if he could

is a faithful friend

has his father as his best friend

has hope that everyone he knows will become a Christian

patiently endured more in his 27 years than I ever could have imagined was possible


He is also my son

And I am his proud momma!

Happy Birthday, John Mark!
I love you!

I’ve got a secret!

Welcome to all of those who have stopped by after seeing my interview on Karen Ehman's blog! If you haven't seen it you can find it here. While there please don't forget to leave your comment to be entered in our drawing.


It's a boy!" the doctor said.

My husband and I were overjoyed! It had been a long, difficult delivery and it was finally over…John Mark was here! We talked quietly as the doctor and nurses were examining our son at a table in the delivery room. They stood there for a long time, but we didn't notice because we were so happy. It was the beginning of our life with our first child!

Soon a nurse moved me into the recovery room without letting me hold my baby. Then our doctor came in to speak to us. Our joy was quickly shattered as we heard the words that changed all of our hopes and dreams…our precious baby boy was born with severe medical problems. The doctor told us that the base of JM's spine was open, caused by a birth defect called Spina Bifida. His legs and feet were severely deformed. And he had a soft cleft palate, meaning the roof of his mouth did not form properly. And this was just a partial evaluation of his condition!

All of these things were completely foreign to us, unexpected, hard to understand. We also learned that because of these problems our baby would need to be transferred immediately to Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago for surgery and specialized care.

The rest of the day was a mixture of shock, questions, many, many tears…and getting a few precious moments with my baby boy as he was placed in an incubator to be taken by ambulance to Children's with their transport team. He had the first of many surgeries that night, just 11 hours after he was born. We had to wait 6 weeks before we could bring him home with us for the first time.

That was 27 years ago. In fact, this year we will celebrate John Mark's 27^th golden birthday on May 27th with a party, where he has invited over 100 of his closest friends and family!

While things have not turned out as I had envisioned they would all of those years ago I have learned a secret that has helped me cope with the many unexpected changes that have happened in my life since then. It is a secret the Apostle Paul wrote about in the book of Philippians.

Do you know this secret?

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12, 13

This is a secret...an important lesson...that I have had to learn time and time again...to allow God's strength to help me handle whatever comes my way.

It has been impossible for me, in my own strength, to be content in every situation in my life, especially when it has to do with the ups and downs of JM's chronic illness. My natural reaction is to be happy when he is healthy and upset when he is sick. And there have been times when I have allowed my fears and anxieties to overtake me, causing me to become discontented with God's plan for my life.

My greatest desire has always been that my son would be whole, healthy and free of the limitations of his disabilities. Yet, I believe that God allowed John Mark to be born with these medical conditions.

When I grumble and complain about the way things are I am really grumbling and complaining about Jesus. I don't want to do that because I love Him and I want to honor Him with my life. So then, seeing that He has allowed John Mark to be born with these challenges, I want to live in complete cooperation with Him…to be at peace with the limits placed on our lives by JM's disabilities.

Finding my strength in the Lord allows me to meet the challenges of my life as the mother of a disabled child, and as a result, true contentment takes its place in my heart.

This is one secret I don't mind sharing with you!

all grace abounds

"And God is able to make
all grace abound
to you,
so that in all things
at all times,
having all you need
you will abound in every good work."
2 Cor. 9:8

strength to the weary

I have been feeling weak and weary lately,
wishing my life was easier.

SomeOne heard me complaining...not verbally, but in my heart and mind.

The Lord has this way of knowing just what I am thinking
and what I need to hear from Him!

So He reminded me of these verses.

Isaiah 40: 27-31

"Why do you complain, O Israel,
'My way is hidden from the Lord''?

Don't you know? Haven't you heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God...
He will not grow tired or weary.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak...

Those who wait on the Lord
will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Ha!
My negative attitude...called out by the Holy Spirit!

So...I repent and He forgives...this helps return my heart
to one that trusts in Him...in ALL things!

Now...
the key for me...
rely on the Lord when I am weary and tired of doing what's right.

He promises to be the strength
that I need
to keep going.

Psalm 23:3

When I am worn down with problems and concerns

He restores my soul

When I am weary and exhausted

He restores my soul

When I am troubled and anxious

He restores my soul

When my heart fails me

He restores my soul

When I think there is no way out

there comes

a whisper in the middle of the night

a promise with words of hope

He restores my soul.

roller coaster

Sometimes
my life

is like a ride on

a roller coaster.

There are

ups

and

downs

that never end.

I seem to go

round and round

on the same track

and

the ride

never comes to a stop

when I want it to.

perspective

So good to be back.

I have been preoccupied with things here at home...focusing on JM's health and some problems we are facing with him, and I haven't really felt like writing or doing too many other things. But one thing I have done is I have started to read a new book...Francis Chan's 'Crazy Love'...have any of you ever read it? I am only in the first chapter and already I know that this will be a life changing book for me.

I wanted to share a video with you that is part of the first chapter's assignment. It has helped me gain a much needed perspective on my life. I'm sharing it here because I imagine it might help us to think about God in a way we haven't thought of Him before. Let me know what you think!

The Awe Factor of God

'When I consider Your heavens,

the works of Your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

which You have set in place,

What is man that You are mindful of him,

the son of man that You care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings

and You crowned him with glory and honor.'

Psalm 8:3-5 NIV

He already knows

"God has solutions

to problems you don't even know about yet."

Joel Osteen

moving on

Alyssa is moving out of the house this week...she isn't going away to college this time or going overseas to live in England for a year like she did when she was 18...she is moving out to live with friends in her very own apartment! I am so excited for her!

Yet, as her mother, I know that I am going to be missing a few things about her when she's gone...things like...

- walking through her bedroom on the way to the laundry room, and having to step over her shoes, books, clothes, purses, and green Starbucks aprons

- the free bags of Starbucks coffee she brought home each week

- her laughter and the life she brings into our home whenever she is here

- the discussions she and Mark love to have about random topics

- having her friends stop by to go shopping, hang out, borrow clothes, bake, spend the night

- New Years Eve parties with all of her friends filling our little townhouse, singing and praying in the new year

- our late night talks

- sitting in the kitchen, talking and drinking coffee in the mornings

- being there to hear all of her thoughts and ideas when she wanted to talk

- getting to see her 'new' clothes and other finds from Goodwill and thrift stores

- watching 'Pride and Prejudice', 'Persuasion' and 'Sense and Sensibility' together and knowing that Mark and John Mark had no idea what was going on in those movies, which one was Mr. Darcy or Mr. Bingley, and why we loved to watch these movies over and over and over again

- having another girl in the house who understands how strange boys can be to live with

- being her assistant when she bakes

- having her as my assistant when I cook

- just knowing that she is home and is asleep in her own bed.

These are just a few of the things that I can think of now, and once she is gone I am sure I will have more to add to the list...and I haven't even listed what I am NOT going to miss...but that is a topic for another post!

Plus, I can't wait to go visit her in her new apartment...because I am hoping to create some new memories with her there!

keeping the faith

Have you ever thrown away something valuable only to realize one day that you would give anything to have it back again?

I am known in my family as someone who hates to throw anything away. I have several boxes of papers, files and stuff stacked in our loft, just waiting for me to sort through them. It scares me to think of what I might lose if I just randomly tossed those boxes out without going through them first. (As you read this I hope you are not contacting the show 'Hoarders' to set up an intervention for me!)

Yet, even though I have been so careful about saving things, there have been times when I have been tempted to throw away something very important to me...my confidence in God, also known as my faith.

It always seems to happen when I have been in a difficult situation or when things aren't going the way I expected them to go. It is at those times when it seems like the easy thing to do would be to blame God and think that He didn't care one bit about me or what was happening in my life...question all that I know to be true about Him, allow the discouragement and fear to overtake me and ultimately lose my confidence in Him.

Hebrews 10:35 has challenged me to not act on those feelings.

"So, do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere, so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised."

Keeping my faith and not losing my confidence in God is just like hanging on to what is valuable. And the value lies in who God is...He is someone who is totally trustworthy and reliable. My faith in Him produces in me an undisturbed peace (my favorite definition of the word confidence, btw). If I threw that away I would definitely be losing something worth saving.

Knowing in my heart that I can ALWAYS trust God and count on Him to be there for me is one of the most valuable things I can hold on to...with no intervention needed!

'Tis so sweet

Ever have one of those days when you suddenly start singing a song and you don't know why? Well, I have been singing this chorus from the hymn " 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" this morning...don't know why I started or what made me think of it...but what a blessing it has been to me today!

'Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er

Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus

O for grace to trust Him more.'

I looked for it on YouTube and found the song, lyrics and this recording by Casting Crowns. Oh, what a beautiful song...and a wonderful reminder to me of all He has done in my life since I learned to trust Him...He has never disappointed me or let me down in anything I have ever faced.

We each have our own stories about how our lives are different because we have learned to trust Him. Please let this be a reminder to you today of what He has done and will continue to do for you.

plans and purposes

At the very heart of the parenting of our children, my husband, Mark, and I have had one desire in mind...that JM and Alyssa would one day have their own relationships with Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I am so thankful to say that they have indeed given their lives to the Lord and are seeking Him and His will for their lives...in their own way.

Now, I say in their own way because if you know our children you know just how different they are from each other...their personalities, their giftings, their abilities and even their tastes in music are not the same. It is a fact that the Lord created each of them to be just who they are supposed to be, yet He made them totally different from each other.

Which made the verse in Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" both a challenge and a joy to obey, because each of them needed different types of training/parenting to match their different personalities. In essence, God asked me to pay attention to who my children were and raise them accordingly.

This passage stood out to me one day as I sat at John Mark's bedside during a stay at Children's Memorial Hospital. JM was asleep after going through a procedure that removed fluid from around his lung. While he was sleeping I received a phone call from Alyssa, who was away at college, and I stepped out of the room to talk to her. She was calling to share with me the joy she was experiencing as she helped to lead worship at a youth convention...she told me several stories of the ways that she saw the Lord working through their team and the things she was learning, as well. I felt so proud of her, and I told her so.

Then this thought struck me:

Here I had one child laying in a hospital bed and another standing on a stage before 3000 teenagers leading worship.

I was overwhelmed when I thought of the differences in their lives.

The Lord knew what I was thinking because immediately I heard Him speak to my heart "My plan, their purpose". He knew what He was doing in each of their lives, He knew where they were and what was happening to them...and I needed to be reminded of that. He has a plan with a purpose for each one of them to fulfill, and His plan for JM is just as important as His plan is for Alyssa.

I have been so blessed to be their mother...and to have been a part of the training that was needed to set them on their way to fulfilling God's plan for their lives, no matter how different they may be.

He loves me like that

This week I learned that God
is not pushy...or bossy...or controlling.

You see, I have known for quite some time now that I am supposed to be doing a certain thing, and this thing is something that I know God wants me to do. While I have made a few meager attempts at doing it, I have not wholeheartedly decided that I was going to go through with it, even though I KNOW that I am supposed to.

And, what does God go and do about it? He waits for me...and reminds me and encourages me...and then waits...and reminds again...and then waits a little longer...with even more encouraging and then even more waiting.

He doesn't push me or boss me around to get me to do what He wants. And He doesn't control me or force me to obey because...

He loves me like that.

He waited long enough for me to finally get the nerve to talk to Him about it, get honest with Him about why I am avoiding obeying Him, and then ask Him to forgive me, which He does because...

He loves me like that.

And, now I am so grateful that He is not pushy or bossy or controlling because He is really loving and patient and kind...and knowing this about Him has motivated me to obey Him...and to step out in faith to do the thing He has asked me to do...

Because I love Him like that!


'With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for Him is a waste of time or effort.'

1 Corinthians 15:58 (The Message)

it all adds up

A wedding anniversary equation:

One husband + one wife
+ 29 years
+ one son + one daughter
+ one dog + two cats
+ 12 homes
+ serving 9 churches
+ many friends and family
+ many joys and challenges

= a wonderful life together!

Thank you, Lord, for all of these blessings!

Romans 8

It is here, in these few verses, that I find

no condemnation
no separation
no fear

Thank you, my Father!

Create in me...O God

Psalm 51:10 has been on my heart so strongly this week. It has become my prayer as I have meditated on this whole psalm. Here are three different versions of this verse, each using similar wording, yet each different enough to provide a special insight that the other doesn't.

NIV
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

NLT
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
Renew a right spirit within me.

Amplified
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right, persevering and steadfast spirit within me.

I am in great need of the creating and renewing that God can do in my heart and spirit.

I am so glad that He is able...and that He is willing to do it, too.

I don't ever have to be afraid again

Saturday Update: Thanks for all of your prayers...JM is doing much better today! We have decided to stay home with him and see how he does the rest of this weekend. God bless!

Tonight I came to a place that I have not been to in quite some time...a place of waiting on the Lord for direction in regard to John Mark's health and a possible trip with him to the ER in the near future.

JM has not been well today, and that has given my husband and I some concern. Every little symptom could mean something is wrong, so I watch and wait. Familiar fears rise up inside of me as I assess JM's condition, and those fears have started to take a hold of me. Worry so easily clouds my mind and my heart.

After getting JM to bed I sat at my desk and started to pray...the Lord is so good...He gently reminded me of a passage of Scripture that He had given me four years ago when I sat praying at JM's bedside in Intensive Care. This was a passage that spoke so powerfully to me then, and the Lord knew I needed to see it now...I needed this reassurance from Him that He is with us now and will be with us in whatever situation we may find ourselves in in the future.

Isaiah 43:1,2

But now,

God's Message,

the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,

the One who got you started, Israel:

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.

I've called your name. You're mine.

When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.

When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.

When you're between a rock and a hard place,

it won't be the end-

Because I am God, your personal God,

The Holy of Israel, your Savior."

What a comfort it is to know that He is my personal God...One who is with me and JM...always...no matter what...and I don't ever have to be afraid again...and thankfully the Lord won't let me forget it!

For now JM is still at home, but we will see how he does tonight and we will make our decision in the morning. We appreciate your prayers!

to love mercy

This morning I read Lysa Terkeurst's blog post about showing God's mercy to those we love and live with in our homes...you can find it here. I posted the following comment in response to what she wrote. I thought I would share it with all of you...because I know you have been wondering about what I have been thinking!

"Our home now has a 22 year old daughter who chose to shave all of her hair off early New Year's day.

Mercy, Lord!

I, too, had a choice to either show mercy to her or to react in fear over what she had done. You see she was doing it in response to a covenant she was making with the Lord. I had to decide if I was going to freak out over her new hairstyle or be praying for her as she seeks God's will for her life.

I do have to admit that I did freak out a little at first (okay, so maybe it was more than just a little)...but the Holy Spirit took over and I can now say that when I look at her I see the beauty of who she is as a woman of God...not as some bald headed creature now inhabiting our home.

I love her...she is more important to me for who she is than for what she looks like.

Mercy...is a beautiful gift to give!"