I’ve got a secret!

Welcome to all of those who have stopped by after seeing my interview on Karen Ehman's blog! If you haven't seen it you can find it here. While there please don't forget to leave your comment to be entered in our drawing.


It's a boy!" the doctor said.

My husband and I were overjoyed! It had been a long, difficult delivery and it was finally over…John Mark was here! We talked quietly as the doctor and nurses were examining our son at a table in the delivery room. They stood there for a long time, but we didn't notice because we were so happy. It was the beginning of our life with our first child!

Soon a nurse moved me into the recovery room without letting me hold my baby. Then our doctor came in to speak to us. Our joy was quickly shattered as we heard the words that changed all of our hopes and dreams…our precious baby boy was born with severe medical problems. The doctor told us that the base of JM's spine was open, caused by a birth defect called Spina Bifida. His legs and feet were severely deformed. And he had a soft cleft palate, meaning the roof of his mouth did not form properly. And this was just a partial evaluation of his condition!

All of these things were completely foreign to us, unexpected, hard to understand. We also learned that because of these problems our baby would need to be transferred immediately to Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago for surgery and specialized care.

The rest of the day was a mixture of shock, questions, many, many tears…and getting a few precious moments with my baby boy as he was placed in an incubator to be taken by ambulance to Children's with their transport team. He had the first of many surgeries that night, just 11 hours after he was born. We had to wait 6 weeks before we could bring him home with us for the first time.

That was 27 years ago. In fact, this year we will celebrate John Mark's 27^th golden birthday on May 27th with a party, where he has invited over 100 of his closest friends and family!

While things have not turned out as I had envisioned they would all of those years ago I have learned a secret that has helped me cope with the many unexpected changes that have happened in my life since then. It is a secret the Apostle Paul wrote about in the book of Philippians.

Do you know this secret?

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12, 13

This is a secret...an important lesson...that I have had to learn time and time again...to allow God's strength to help me handle whatever comes my way.

It has been impossible for me, in my own strength, to be content in every situation in my life, especially when it has to do with the ups and downs of JM's chronic illness. My natural reaction is to be happy when he is healthy and upset when he is sick. And there have been times when I have allowed my fears and anxieties to overtake me, causing me to become discontented with God's plan for my life.

My greatest desire has always been that my son would be whole, healthy and free of the limitations of his disabilities. Yet, I believe that God allowed John Mark to be born with these medical conditions.

When I grumble and complain about the way things are I am really grumbling and complaining about Jesus. I don't want to do that because I love Him and I want to honor Him with my life. So then, seeing that He has allowed John Mark to be born with these challenges, I want to live in complete cooperation with Him…to be at peace with the limits placed on our lives by JM's disabilities.

Finding my strength in the Lord allows me to meet the challenges of my life as the mother of a disabled child, and as a result, true contentment takes its place in my heart.

This is one secret I don't mind sharing with you!