In the Waiting Room

Different Dream Parenting

2012-01-09T01:00:00.000-06:00

Whenever I meet the mother of a special needs child I always feel an instant connection with her. I find great comfort and encouragement in knowing that there is someone else who understands what I am going through.

Today I want to introduce you to our guest blogger, Jolene Philo, one such friend of mine. While we have never met in person we have gotten to know a little about each other through email. I felt that connection with her from her very first email when she told me that her son, who is just two years older than my own, was born with a birth defect. She had read my blog post about the story of the day John Mark was born, and found that we had similar experiences. She is someone who understands what I have gone through.

Jolene is the author of two books which are fantastic resources for parents of special needs kids. I will let her tell you about her most recent book, Different Dream Parenting. Her website, Different Dream, is a great resource as well...please check it out!

I am giving one of these books away and you can find out how at the end of Jolene's post. I will also be blogging several times in the next few weeks about my experiences raising John Mark and how they relate to different topics in Jolene's book. There will also be some surprise giveways!

Now, meet Jolene!

When our beautiful newborn boy was transferred to a regionalhospital, my husband and I felt lost at sea. A few hours later, we learned thatour baby required immediate surgery at a university hospital 750 miles away.Without it, he would die. That news threw us overboard. We longed for someonewho could come alongside and pull us out of the water. A book to chart a mapthrough unfamiliar waters and assure us of God’s presence.

But our son was born in 1982 when pediatric medicine was arelatively new field. Families like ours were hard to find. Parenting bookshadn’t been written. The internet didn’t exist. Over the next twenty years,even after the surgeries and medical procedures that corrected our son’scondition were over, my search for parenting resources yielded scant results.Eventually, I sensed God nudging me to come alongside young parents lost at sealike we had been, to create a map they could follow.

Different Dream Parenting:A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs is that map. It’s amap for parents of kids living with medical special needs as well as conditionslike Down Syndrome, juvenile diabetes, developmental delays, and autism, andthose facing a terminal diagnosis. It guides parents by providing tools andresources they need to become effective advocates for their kids.

The book features interviews, advice, and resources from morethan fifty families and two dozen professionals. With their help, the bookaddresses the situations parents face every day. Things I wish someone had toldme, like:

• Askingquestions after diagnosis.

• Dealingwith insurance companies.

• Preparinga child for a hospital stay.

• Accessingfinancial resources and government monies.

• Accessingspecial education services.

• Determiningoptimum level of care.

• Mobilizingvolunteers at home.

• Supportingthe sibs.

• Preparinga child for death.

• Planninga funeral.

• Participatingin community and church events.

• Creatinga special needs trust for adult children with special needs.

In addition to practical advice, Different Dream Parenting tackles spiritual questions families areoften afraid to ask. Questions about:

• God’ssovereignty

• Parentalguilt

• Settingand maintaining spiritual priorities

• Grievingfor children living with specialneeds

• Grievingthe death of a child

• Passingfaith on to children with special needs

Thirty day prayer guides in the appendices are for parents tooexhausted to form their own prayers.

I remember what it’s like to be lost at sea, thrown overboard byan unexpected diagnosis, and drowning under a flood of caregiving demands. Mygoal is to put Different Dream Parentinginto the hands of floundering parents so they have a map and know they’re notalone. To order the book, visit www.DifferentDream.com and click on the “buythe book” tab.

Jolene has given me a copy of her book to share with one of you! Just leave a comment here. If you have a story to share about your own child we would love to hear it! If not just say 'I'm in!' and you will be included, too! A winner will be drawn randomly on Saturday, Jan. 14, so make sure you leave your email with your comment so I can contact you if you win.

a new year and 36 years of new life!

2012-01-01T11:19:00.002-06:00

Today is a very special day for me. Not only is it the first day of a new year, but it is the day I celebrate as the start of my spiritual life, my Jesus birthday! It was 36 years ago today that I gave my life to the Lord. He changed the course of my life all of those years ago. I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for Him. I love Him so much!

This is also the start of a special series of posts that I will be doing this month. I will be sharing several stories from my life that relate to my faith and my life as a caregiver for John Mark. I will also be introducing you to a special friend of mine who has written a book on parenting special needs kids.

There will also be several giveaways next week. Keep an eye out for them so you can be sure to enter and win some great gifts!

Below is a post I wrote to tell the story of the night that changed my life. It is my hope that you see how amazing the Lord is and learn how He reached out to me.

God bless!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My father’squestion changed the course of my life that first night of January, 1976. I lay in a hospital bed the night beforesurgery. I was 19 and had come home from college a few weeks earlier to see our familydoctor about a lump I could feel and see on the left side of my neck. He recommendeda surgeon who soon had me scheduled for the procedure.

As my parentswere about to leave me for the night I was feeling afraid and anxious. Thesurgery was going to be a risky one, possibly leaving the left side of my faceparalyzed. I was scared and so were they. That is what motivated my father toask me a question he had never asked me before. He asked me if it was alright ifwe prayed and asked God to take care of me during the surgery.

That doesn’tsound like an odd request coming from a father who sent his daughter through 13years of parochial school. But, praying together as a family athome was something we never did, except for saying grace at our meals.

I agreed, and ashe prayed I was overcome with an incredible sense of my unworthiness. I thought‘why would God want to help me when I had been doing so many bad things?’ Myfather didn’t know the things I was doing at college, but I realized that Goddid.

I kept thesethoughts to myself when he finished his prayer. We hugged and they left forhome. As I looked around my room I saw a crucifix on the wall across from mybed. I focused on that cross and said a prayer of my own to the Lord. I askedHim to forgive me for all of the wrong things I had been doing. I gave Him mylife and told Him that He could do whatever He wanted with it. And, of course,I asked Him to take care of me during my surgery.

This prayer thatI now know to be the ‘sinner’s prayer’ was totally motivated by the convictionof the Holy Spirit in my heart. I had never been told about this prayer before.It was God working in me to bring me to salvation. My heavenly Father wasreaching out to me through my earthly father.

When I said yesto my father’s prayer I was given the chance to answer a question of evengreater importance that God Himself was asking me. “Would I give my life to Himand trust Jesus as my Savior?”

Saying yes toboth my earthly father and Heavenly Father changed the course of my life thatnight. I am eternally blessed to have had the opportunity to answer both of theirquestions.

what's your secret?

2011-07-29T13:00:00.004-05:00

Welcome to those stopping by after sampling my Detours Dinner Special at Encouragement Cafe'!

Question for you...would you be willing to share a secret you have learned as a result of going through a difficult situation?

I am only asking because I believe that each of us have learned something that would encourage others facing tough times. And we all have tough times...that is a fact and not a secret!

Whatever you share will be a blessing to me and to anyone else who will stop by to read it...so if you're willing please leave it as a comment below.

I can't wait to hear your secret!

Kelly's Korner: Show us your life...special needs families

2011-06-10T16:29:00.022-05:00

Hi! So glad you stopped by! If you are here because of Kelly's SUYL Special Needs Families I hope you will be encouraged to see what the Lord has done in my life as a wife and mom of two fantastic kids, one of whom is disabled.

John Mark is pictured here with his new puppy, Gia.

Our son, John Mark, is a 27 year old young man who loves contemporary Christian music and going to his favorite bands' concerts; he never wants to miss church on Sunday, and is a faithful fan of his favorite sports teams: the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago Bulls and the Green Bay Packers. Plus, he is a true extrovert...he loves to be out doing something with people...going to movies, restaurants and youth group. And, he has a solid faith in the Lord!

He was also born with a genetic birth defect, called DiGeorge Syndrome, that includes Spina Bifida, hydrocephalus, autistic tendencies, and ulcerative colitis. These terms are unfamiliar to many, but to him, they are just a part of who he is.

His whole life has been filled with a variety of surgeries, doctors visits and medical procedures. But several years ago John Mark faced the biggest challenge of his life. We had just moved to the Chicago area where my husband is pastoring a church. After completing four years of high school, John Mark was ready to get a part time job here in town. His health was good and we were looking forward to settling into our new life here.

But soon John Mark's health started to deteriorate and he was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Within a matter of weeks he developed a rare infection called toxic megacolon and needed emergency surgery to remove his large intenstines. He was in ICU for 6 weeks, in the hospital for 12 weeks total, and then spent the summer in rehab. It has taken him awhile to recover from all of this, but it is worth it...he is here and he is doing well...but this latest surgery has left him with the need for full time assistance with his medical care, which now includes an ostomy bag.

My life has also changed as a result of all this...I have chosen to be John Mark's full time caregiver, being with him to help him do things he is now unable to do for himself. We are so grateful to the Lord for providing for all of John Mark's needs and for preserving his life for the purposes He has in mind.

Now that you know a little about us, I would love to learn more about you and the special needs child/adult in your life. How has that child changed you or how you live your life because they are in it? I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

this boy

2011-05-27T18:11:00.010-05:00

Today is this boy's 27th birthday!

This boy who:

eats chocolate chip cookies and chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream

listens to his favorite bands and their albums on his ipod in the same order every time he puts on his headphones

cracks me up with his witty sense of humor and creative comebacks

is up at 9am every weekday to watch The Price is Right at 10am

remembers everyone's birthdays and favorite sports teams

never says anything negative about anyone he knows

loves his cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, sister and parents

has memorized the entire Chicago Cubs 2011 season schedule (and every season for the past 15+ years)

asks everyone he knows if they've seen The Office, Galaxy Quest or That Thing You Do

does not like the Grand Canyon

loves to connect with friends and family on Facebook

hates to hear someone swear

teases his Grandpa DeRosa about not having any hair

can quote lines from his favorite songs and movies

would live in a hotel and eat at Arby's or Taco Bell everyday of his life if he could

is a faithful friend

has his father as his best friend

has hope that everyone he knows will become a Christian

patiently endured more in his 27 years than I ever could have imagined was possible

He is also my son

And I am his proud momma!

Happy Birthday, John Mark!
I love you!

I’ve got a secret!

2011-05-20T23:05:00.000-05:00

Welcome to all of those who have stopped by after seeing my interview on Karen Ehman's blog! If you haven't seen it you can find it here. While there please don't forget to leave your comment to be entered in our drawing.

It's a boy!" the doctor said.

My husband and I were overjoyed! It had been a long, difficult delivery and it was finally over…John Mark was here! We talked quietly as the doctor and nurses were examining our son at a table in the delivery room. They stood there for a long time, but we didn't notice because we were so happy. It was the beginning of our life with our first child!

Soon a nurse moved me into the recovery room without letting me hold my baby. Then our doctor came in to speak to us. Our joy was quickly shattered as we heard the words that changed all of our hopes and dreams…our precious baby boy was born with severe medical problems. The doctor told us that the base of JM's spine was open, caused by a birth defect called Spina Bifida. His legs and feet were severely deformed. And he had a soft cleft palate, meaning the roof of his mouth did not form properly. And this was just a partial evaluation of his condition!

All of these things were completely foreign to us, unexpected, hard to understand. We also learned that because of these problems our baby would need to be transferred immediately to Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago for surgery and specialized care.

The rest of the day was a mixture of shock, questions, many, many tears…and getting a few precious moments with my baby boy as he was placed in an incubator to be taken by ambulance to Children's with their transport team. He had the first of many surgeries that night, just 11 hours after he was born. We had to wait 6 weeks before we could bring him home with us for the first time.

That was 27 years ago. In fact, this year we will celebrate John Mark's 27^th golden birthday on May 27th with a party, where he has invited over 100 of his closest friends and family!

While things have not turned out as I had envisioned they would all of those years ago I have learned a secret that has helped me cope with the many unexpected changes that have happened in my life since then. It is a secret the Apostle Paul wrote about in the book of Philippians.

Do you know this secret?

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12, 13

This is a secret...an important lesson...that I have had to learn time and time again...to allow God's strength to help me handle whatever comes my way.

It has been impossible for me, in my own strength, to be content in every situation in my life, especially when it has to do with the ups and downs of JM's chronic illness. My natural reaction is to be happy when he is healthy and upset when he is sick. And there have been times when I have allowed my fears and anxieties to overtake me, causing me to become discontented with God's plan for my life.

My greatest desire has always been that my son would be whole, healthy and free of the limitations of his disabilities. Yet, I believe that God allowed John Mark to be born with these medical conditions.

When I grumble and complain about the way things are I am really grumbling and complaining about Jesus. I don't want to do that because I love Him and I want to honor Him with my life. So then, seeing that He has allowed John Mark to be born with these challenges, I want to live in complete cooperation with Him…to be at peace with the limits placed on our lives by JM's disabilities.

Finding my strength in the Lord allows me to meet the challenges of my life as the mother of a disabled child, and as a result, true contentment takes its place in my heart.

This is one secret I don't mind sharing with you!

all grace abounds

2011-05-17T18:10:00.006-05:00

"And God is able to make
all grace abound
to you,
so that in all things
at all times,
having all you need
you will abound in every good work."
2 Cor. 9:8

strength to the weary

2011-04-29T18:49:00.006-05:00

I have been feeling weak and weary lately,
wishing my life was easier.

SomeOne heard me complaining...not verbally, but in my heart and mind.

The Lord has this way of knowing just what I am thinking
and what I need to hear from Him!

So He reminded me of these verses.

Isaiah 40: 27-31

"Why do you complain, O Israel,
'My way is hidden from the Lord''?

Don't you know? Haven't you heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God...
He will not grow tired or weary.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak...

Those who wait on the Lord
will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Ha!
My negative attitude...called out by the Holy Spirit!

So...I repent and He forgives...this helps return my heart
to one that trusts in Him...in ALL things!

Now...
the key for me...
rely on the Lord when I am weary and tired of doing what's right.

He promises to be the strength
that I need
to keep going.

Psalm 23:3

2011-03-15T22:37:00.010-05:00

When I am worn down with problems and concerns

He restores my soul

When I am weary and exhausted

He restores my soul

When I am troubled and anxious

He restores my soul

When my heart fails me

He restores my soul

When I think there is no way out

there comes

a whisper in the middle of the night

a promise with words of hope

He restores my soul.

roller coaster

2010-11-11T00:30:00.025-06:00

Sometimes
my life

is like a ride on

a roller coaster.

There are

ups

and

downs

that never end.

I seem to go

round and round

on the same track

and

the ride

never comes to a stop

when I want it to.

perspective

2010-10-29T15:49:00.019-05:00

So good to be back.

I have been preoccupied with things here at home...focusing on JM's health and some problems we are facing with him, and I haven't really felt like writing or doing too many other things. But one thing I have done is I have started to read a new book...Francis Chan's 'Crazy Love'...have any of you ever read it? I am only in the first chapter and already I know that this will be a life changing book for me.

I wanted to share a video with you that is part of the first chapter's assignment. It has helped me gain a much needed perspective on my life. I'm sharing it here because I imagine it might help us to think about God in a way we haven't thought of Him before. Let me know what you think!

The Awe Factor of God

'When I consider Your heavens,

the works of Your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

which You have set in place,

What is man that You are mindful of him,

the son of man that You care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings

and You crowned him with glory and honor.'

Psalm 8:3-5 NIV

He already knows

2010-10-08T09:02:00.003-05:00

"God has solutions

to problems you don't even know about yet."

Joel Osteen

moving on

2010-09-28T23:53:00.010-05:00

Alyssa is moving out of the house this week...she isn't going away to college this time or going overseas to live in England for a year like she did when she was 18...she is moving out to live with friends in her very own apartment! I am so excited for her!

Yet, as her mother, I know that I am going to be missing a few things about her when she's gone...things like...

- walking through her bedroom on the way to the laundry room, and having to step over her shoes, books, clothes, purses, and green Starbucks aprons

- the free bags of Starbucks coffee she brought home each week

- her laughter and the life she brings into our home whenever she is here

- the discussions she and Mark love to have about random topics

- having her friends stop by to go shopping, hang out, borrow clothes, bake, spend the night

- New Years Eve parties with all of her friends filling our little townhouse, singing and praying in the new year

- our late night talks

- sitting in the kitchen, talking and drinking coffee in the mornings

- being there to hear all of her thoughts and ideas when she wanted to talk

- getting to see her 'new' clothes and other finds from Goodwill and thrift stores

- watching 'Pride and Prejudice', 'Persuasion' and 'Sense and Sensibility' together and knowing that Mark and John Mark had no idea what was going on in those movies, which one was Mr. Darcy or Mr. Bingley, and why we loved to watch these movies over and over and over again

- having another girl in the house who understands how strange boys can be to live with

- being her assistant when she bakes

- having her as my assistant when I cook

- just knowing that she is home and is asleep in her own bed.

These are just a few of the things that I can think of now, and once she is gone I am sure I will have more to add to the list...and I haven't even listed what I am NOT going to miss...but that is a topic for another post!

Plus, I can't wait to go visit her in her new apartment...because I am hoping to create some new memories with her there!

keeping the faith

2010-09-22T13:56:00.002-05:00

Have you ever thrown away something valuable only to realize one day that you would give anything to have it back again?

I am known in my family as someone who hates to throw anything away. I have several boxes of papers, files and stuff stacked in our loft, just waiting for me to sort through them. It scares me to think of what I might lose if I just randomly tossed those boxes out without going through them first. (As you read this I hope you are not contacting the show 'Hoarders' to set up an intervention for me!)

Yet, even though I have been so careful about saving things, there have been times when I have been tempted to throw away something very important to me...my confidence in God, also known as my faith.

It always seems to happen when I have been in a difficult situation or when things aren't going the way I expected them to go. It is at those times when it seems like the easy thing to do would be to blame God and think that He didn't care one bit about me or what was happening in my life...question all that I know to be true about Him, allow the discouragement and fear to overtake me and ultimately lose my confidence in Him.

Hebrews 10:35 has challenged me to not act on those feelings.

"So, do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere, so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised."

Keeping my faith and not losing my confidence in God is just like hanging on to what is valuable. And the value lies in who God is...He is someone who is totally trustworthy and reliable. My faith in Him produces in me an undisturbed peace (my favorite definition of the word confidence, btw). If I threw that away I would definitely be losing something worth saving.

Knowing in my heart that I can ALWAYS trust God and count on Him to be there for me is one of the most valuable things I can hold on to...with no intervention needed!

'Tis so sweet

2010-09-17T12:26:00.012-05:00

Ever have one of those days when you suddenly start singing a song and you don't know why? Well, I have been singing this chorus from the hymn " 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" this morning...don't know why I started or what made me think of it...but what a blessing it has been to me today!

'Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er

Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus

O for grace to trust Him more.'

I looked for it on YouTube and found the song, lyrics and this recording by Casting Crowns. Oh, what a beautiful song...and a wonderful reminder to me of all He has done in my life since I learned to trust Him...He has never disappointed me or let me down in anything I have ever faced.

We each have our own stories about how our lives are different because we have learned to trust Him. Please let this be a reminder to you today of what He has done and will continue to do for you.

plans and purposes

2010-09-12T16:57:00.026-05:00

At the very heart of the parenting of our children, my husband, Mark, and I have had one desire in mind...that JM and Alyssa would one day have their own relationships with Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I am so thankful to say that they have indeed given their lives to the Lord and are seeking Him and His will for their lives...in their own way.

Now, I say in their own way because if you know our children you know just how different they are from each other...their personalities, their giftings, their abilities and even their tastes in music are not the same. It is a fact that the Lord created each of them to be just who they are supposed to be, yet He made them totally different from each other.

Which made the verse in Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" both a challenge and a joy to obey, because each of them needed different types of training/parenting to match their different personalities. In essence, God asked me to pay attention to who my children were and raise them accordingly.

This passage stood out to me one day as I sat at John Mark's bedside during a stay at Children's Memorial Hospital. JM was asleep after going through a procedure that removed fluid from around his lung. While he was sleeping I received a phone call from Alyssa, who was away at college, and I stepped out of the room to talk to her. She was calling to share with me the joy she was experiencing as she helped to lead worship at a youth convention...she told me several stories of the ways that she saw the Lord working through their team and the things she was learning, as well. I felt so proud of her, and I told her so.

Then this thought struck me:

Here I had one child laying in a hospital bed and another standing on a stage before 3000 teenagers leading worship.

I was overwhelmed when I thought of the differences in their lives.

The Lord knew what I was thinking because immediately I heard Him speak to my heart "My plan, their purpose". He knew what He was doing in each of their lives, He knew where they were and what was happening to them...and I needed to be reminded of that. He has a plan with a purpose for each one of them to fulfill, and His plan for JM is just as important as His plan is for Alyssa.

I have been so blessed to be their mother...and to have been a part of the training that was needed to set them on their way to fulfilling God's plan for their lives, no matter how different they may be.

He loves me like that

2010-09-09T22:45:00.015-05:00

This week I learned that God
is not pushy...or bossy...or controlling.

You see, I have known for quite some time now that I am supposed to be doing a certain thing, and this thing is something that I know God wants me to do. While I have made a few meager attempts at doing it, I have not wholeheartedly decided that I was going to go through with it, even though I KNOW that I am supposed to.

And, what does God go and do about it? He waits for me...and reminds me and encourages me...and then waits...and reminds again...and then waits a little longer...with even more encouraging and then even more waiting.

He doesn't push me or boss me around to get me to do what He wants. And He doesn't control me or force me to obey because...

He loves me like that.

He waited long enough for me to finally get the nerve to talk to Him about it, get honest with Him about why I am avoiding obeying Him, and then ask Him to forgive me, which He does because...

He loves me like that.

And, now I am so grateful that He is not pushy or bossy or controlling because He is really loving and patient and kind...and knowing this about Him has motivated me to obey Him...and to step out in faith to do the thing He has asked me to do...

Because I love Him like that!

'With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for Him is a waste of time or effort.'

1 Corinthians 15:58 (The Message)

it all adds up

2010-08-15T00:14:00.017-05:00

A wedding anniversary equation:

One husband + one wife
+ 29 years
+ one son + one daughter
+ one dog + two cats
+ 12 homes
+ serving 9 churches
+ many friends and family
+ many joys and challenges

= a wonderful life together!

Thank you, Lord, for all of these blessings!

Romans 8

2010-08-10T11:34:00.004-05:00

It is here, in these few verses, that I find

no condemnation
no separation
no fear

Thank you, my Father!

Create in me...O God

2010-07-16T00:24:00.005-05:00

Psalm 51:10 has been on my heart so strongly this week. It has become my prayer as I have meditated on this whole psalm. Here are three different versions of this verse, each using similar wording, yet each different enough to provide a special insight that the other doesn't.

NIV
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

NLT
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
Renew a right spirit within me.

Amplified
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right, persevering and steadfast spirit within me.

I am in great need of the creating and renewing that God can do in my heart and spirit.

I am so glad that He is able...and that He is willing to do it, too.

I don't ever have to be afraid again

2010-07-03T00:20:00.001-05:00

Saturday Update: Thanks for all of your prayers...JM is doing much better today! We have decided to stay home with him and see how he does the rest of this weekend. God bless!

Tonight I came to a place that I have not been to in quite some time...a place of waiting on the Lord for direction in regard to John Mark's health and a possible trip with him to the ER in the near future.

JM has not been well today, and that has given my husband and I some concern. Every little symptom could mean something is wrong, so I watch and wait. Familiar fears rise up inside of me as I assess JM's condition, and those fears have started to take a hold of me. Worry so easily clouds my mind and my heart.

After getting JM to bed I sat at my desk and started to pray...the Lord is so good...He gently reminded me of a passage of Scripture that He had given me four years ago when I sat praying at JM's bedside in Intensive Care. This was a passage that spoke so powerfully to me then, and the Lord knew I needed to see it now...I needed this reassurance from Him that He is with us now and will be with us in whatever situation we may find ourselves in in the future.

Isaiah 43:1,2

But now,

God's Message,

the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,

the One who got you started, Israel:

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.

I've called your name. You're mine.

When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.

When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.

When you're between a rock and a hard place,

it won't be the end-

Because I am God, your personal God,

The Holy of Israel, your Savior."

What a comfort it is to know that He is my personal God...One who is with me and JM...always...no matter what...and I don't ever have to be afraid again...and thankfully the Lord won't let me forget it!

For now JM is still at home, but we will see how he does tonight and we will make our decision in the morning. We appreciate your prayers!

to love mercy

2010-01-02T10:11:00.000-06:00

This morning I read Lysa Terkeurst's blog post about showing God's mercy to those we love and live with in our homes...you can find it here. I posted the following comment in response to what she wrote. I thought I would share it with all of you...because I know you have been wondering about what I have been thinking!

"Our home now has a 22 year old daughter who chose to shave all of her hair off early New Year's day.

Mercy, Lord!

I, too, had a choice to either show mercy to her or to react in fear over what she had done. You see she was doing it in response to a covenant she was making with the Lord. I had to decide if I was going to freak out over her new hairstyle or be praying for her as she seeks God's will for her life.

I do have to admit that I did freak out a little at first (okay, so maybe it was more than just a little)...but the Holy Spirit took over and I can now say that when I look at her I see the beauty of who she is as a woman of God...not as some bald headed creature now inhabiting our home.

I love her...she is more important to me for who she is than for what she looks like.

Mercy...is a beautiful gift to give!"

confident expectancy

2009-12-31T22:36:00.000-06:00

a year of hope

what will it

look like when it arrives?

and

will hope kick in the front door at the stroke of midnight

while hopelessness sneaks out the back?

confident expectancy

a welcomed guest

2009-12-02T19:00:00.000-06:00

"Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires." Romans 8:5 (NIV)

Lord,

please

teach me

to set my mind

on what

YOU

desire.

Apples to apple pie

2009-10-14T19:12:00.001-05:00

tonight

Courtland
and
McIntosh
apples
will meet their match...

Alyssa
is
baking
a pie!

2009-09-15T22:40:00.001-05:00

"Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory..." 1Peter1:8

Football season is made for snacking!

2009-09-04T12:46:00.000-05:00

Welcome to all of you BooMama DipTacular football snacking fans! Glad to have you join us!
Please use the link above to see all of the other delicious dip ideas over at BooMama's DipTacular event.

We are Green Bay Packer fans here at our house...and we love to eat while watching them play!

Here is a FANTASTIC hot dip that combines delicious Wisconsin food products we all love in one tasty snack...cheese, sausage and a wide variety of dairy products...cream cheese included!!!

Hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
Go, Pack, Go!

Cheesy Sausage and Spinach Dip

8 oz bulk sweet or hot Italian sausage
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped sweet red pepper
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 - 8 oz pkg cream cheese - softened
1 1/2 cups finely shredded Parmesan or Romano cheese
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sour cream
2 cups chopped fresh spinach leaves
1/3 cup mild banana pepper rings, drained and chopped

In a large skillet, cook sausage, onion, sweet pepper, and garlic until sausage is brown, stirring often. Drain off fat. Set sausage mixture aside to cool.

In a large bowl, stir together cream cheese, Parmesan or Romano cheese, milk, mayonnaise, and sour cream. Add sausage mixture, spinach, and banana peppers; gently stir to combine. Spread mixture into a 9-inch deep-dish pie plate.

Bake in 350-degree oven about 30 minutes or until bubbly.

Serve with Fritos, crostini, bagel chips, blue corn tortilla chips or sliced baguette-style French bread, or your choice of dippers.

it's the simple things

2009-09-02T23:02:00.000-05:00

it's the simple things, isn't it?

after dinner
put on a sweatshirt
light a fire outside
pull up a few chairs
and just sit and talk

we did that tonight
and I LOVED it

Thank you, Lord
for the simple things!

ahhhhhh...books! part 1

2009-08-05T17:09:00.000-05:00

Facebook has been a great way for me to reconnect with childhood friends...I found two sisters who were our neighbors when I was young!

I have also been able to reconnect with some other childhood 'friends' just this past week. It was through a Facebook survey a friend sent me...and I was asked to list 15 of the most influential books I have ever read.

This got me thinking about books I had read and loved as a young girl. Well, my heart started beating with happiness as I remembered the joy I had experienced when I read these books. I have listed a few here...and I will most likely remember more as time goes on and then will add to this list...but here goes!

1. Here Comes the Bus
(first book I ever checked out of the library!)
2. Katie John
3. Emil and the Detectives
4. Nancy Drew and the Secret of the Old Clock and ALL of the rest of the series
5. Little Women
6. The Little Princess
7. The Secret Garden
8. Cherry Ames, Student Nurse (and rest of series)
9. Little House on the Praire series
10. Trixie Belden series
11. The Bobbsey Twins series
12. My Friend Flicka

Okay, I have to stop...and I will list my young adult and adult favorites in a later post...but for now the memories are so special to me. These books were my friends and I 'lived' in them so many times.

How about you? I would love to hear about your favorite childhood 'friends'...maybe I will get to reconnect with them myself.

Hey, y'all!

2009-08-03T08:49:00.000-05:00

I just came back from an awesome week at SheSpeaks. The Lord gave me the privilege of sitting under some amazing teaching! The Proverbs 31 team shared so many insights into God's Word and useful ideas for ministry with me. These women included my small group evaluation leader, Amy Carroll, Renee Swope, Micca Campbell, and of course, Lysa TerKeurst.

These women love Jesus and know how to speak His Word with love, authority and the power of the Holy Spirit...and they are southern girls...and therefore they have a southern accent.

Thus, the reason I am writing today.

Since I have come home I have found that all of the thoughts running through my brain now have a southern twang to them...and I am fighting the urge to use the word y'all when I speak! I am a midwestern girl...I don't have an accent!

Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this after coming back from SheSpeaks?

I don't think this is a bad thing, of course. The Lord worked mightily in my life at SheSpeaks, and He too has left a great impression on my heart and mind...His Word is now running right alongside all of those new ideas I have gleaned from these awesome women of God...except now they've got me thinking the Lord is a southerner, too! Of course, this would not be a bad thing!

To the Proverbs 31 ministry team I just want to say "Thank you for sharing God's Word and His love with me. He has answered your many prayers on my behalf. Thanks, y'all!"

Welcome to my new SheSpeaks friends!

2009-08-02T20:05:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to say hi to my new SheSpeaks friends...especially to all of my ndebele sisters! It was so great to meet you and I am so thankful God brought us together...hope you had a safe trip home!

God is so good!
Let me know how you are doing...okay?

three days!

2009-07-27T07:30:00.000-05:00

In just three days I will be leaving for a very special trip to SheSpeaks, a women's conference in North Carolina! I am excited, scared, nervous, unprepared, and overwhelmed all at the same time.

What does the Lord have planned? Will I be ready to bless others...I don't want to just be all about me and my preparations and forget Jesus and all of the other women attending. There are reasons I am going and I don't want to miss them.

Wow...what has the Lord gotten me into? Can't wait to find out!!!

Happy 25th Birthday, John Mark!

2009-05-27T15:06:00.000-05:00

Your life has been proof that God is faithful in ALL circumstances...His love never changes...and we are so thankful that His love shines through you. On to the next 25!

To those of you who are our family and friends...thank you for walking with us through these past 25 years...they brought many good times and many challenges our way...and we could not have made it through them without your love and support. Thank you for being loving friends to our son...each of you mean so much to him.

Heavenly Father...You alone know the purposes You have had in mind when You created John Mark...Thank You for NEVER leaving us alone in anything that we have faced...YOU WERE ALWAYS FAITHFUL TO US! For that I am most grateful.

We are a blessed family!

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

2009-05-08T18:11:00.000-05:00

this is my Mom
isn't she beautiful!

this was taken just before she met my Dad
you can see why he fell in love with her :)

and you know what
53 years later
they're still in love

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
I love you, too!

praying for Stellan

2009-04-21T01:08:00.000-05:00

Please join me in praying for this precious little boy, Stellan, who is undergoing a difficult heart operation early this morning. Thank you!

Good Friday is good for me

2009-04-10T11:54:00.000-05:00

Today is Good Friday...the day our Lord Jesus gave His life as a ransom for many...you and me included!

Please read Beth Moore's post today...what a powerful reminder of where our focus should be during this Easter weekend...and in our everyday lives.

It is titled 'Thinking About Death and Healing'...hope it is a blessing to you today!http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com

2009-03-19T11:04:00.000-05:00

Spring brings...

sunshine

fresh air

robins

hope

new growth

weapons of our warfare

2009-01-15T11:24:00.000-06:00

Beth Moore and my Siestas over at the LPM blog have committed to memorizing 24 Scripture verses in 12 months (one every two weeks). What a blessing it is for me to join over 2000 (yes I typed two thousand) women in doing this!

I have already memorized 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and this is my verse for the next two weeks:

2 Timothy 1:6,7 (Holman CS Bible)
Therefore, I remind you to keep ablaze the gift of God that is in you...For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love and sound judgement.

What verse would you like to memorize if you joined us?
You can find out all the info at http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/2008/12/anybody-game.html

I would love to hear from you if you are doing this...we could encourage each other on!

I love new Moleskine journals!

2009-01-02T17:35:00.000-06:00

As I sat down to write my first entry in my awesome new Moleskine 2009 journal yesterday I was struck by the fact that all of the pages for 2009 were blank and clear...no appointments or notes written in it yet...and I was almost afraid to write in it because I didn't want to ruin the beauty and cleanless of it all. I'm silly like that with any new notebook or journal type book I get.

While I was contemplating this I realized that God knows what will be written on my 2009...just as He knew what was going to happen in 2008, long before I even did. To be truthful 2008 was rough...I didn't enjoy it quite so much...and I haven't been looking forward to what 2009 might be bringing into my life. But this thought about God already knowing what is ahead has been a comfort to me...and I am coming to the place of trusting Him with this year...and not living in fear of what may or may not happen.

Just a thought...what do you think? Are you able to trust the Lord with the unknown of this new year?

cousins and weddings

2008-11-11T17:13:00.001-06:00

Weddings are always so much fun...but when the first of all the cousins gets married it's an extra special reason to celebrate! Here are a couple of pictures of our two children with all of their cousins on my husband's side. They are all close to the same age and they LOVE to be together...and Drew's wedding was the reason they got to pose for yet another 'cousins picture'... one of the many we have taken over the past 20+ years!

Haven't they grown to be such beautiful kids! I'm so proud of them and I love them!

time to step up to the task at hand

2008-10-21T12:34:00.000-05:00

Is it really October 21st already? Wow, it is time to get going again.

It always takes me awhile to get back into the regularness of life after JM has been sick, so here I am once again, making an attempt at getting ready to take on whatever is coming up next.

Setbacks really do set me back...but now it's time to move forward.

tubes

2008-09-08T12:06:00.000-05:00

JM's life has been supported by different types of tubes this summer

there have been life sustaining IV lines that carried
fluids to prevent dehydration
antibiotics
seizure medicine
vitamins
nutrition

and then there were
breathing tubes
foley catheters
externalized shunts

oh...and I can't forget
the telephone lines
that kept us in touch with family and friends
who brought great encouragement to him

now he's home with
a brand new shunt
another catheter
and ostomy bag

so thankful for all of these things
that help keep my son alive

school lunches

2008-09-02T12:24:00.000-05:00

I thought I was done packing school lunches when Alyssa finished high school a few years ago... but apparently not! She is living at home again, attending a local college...and I'm making sandwiches for her once again. I don't mind cause I enjoy doing it for her.

Especially today...while she was in the car on her way to class she ate the lunch I had just made for her...then she texted me:

"This is the best sandwich I've ever eaten :) "

Wow!!! What an encouragement!

we are all recovering

2008-08-01T11:17:00.000-05:00

JM is recovering from abdominal surgery.
He is doing better every day!

...and so am I.

Thank you for your prayers.
God has been in all of this.

...and I can see that now.

We are so grateful
and humbled
by His grace and love.

this is no vacation

2008-07-17T16:33:00.000-05:00

Right outside my window here on the 16th floor I can see much of the beauty that makes up Chicago's Gold Coast...sailboats sailing on Lake Michigan, shoppers walking up and down the Magnificent Mile, white horsedrawn carriages moving slowly down the street carrying sightseers, and the beautiful skyline of Chicago all around me...another summer day in the city.

Am I staying at a posh hotel that has provided me with this fantastic view? No, I am here atop Northwestern Memorial Hospital. John Mark was admitted here four days ago for medical treatment related to his digestive system.

Why? I don't know. I mean, I know why he's here, medically. I just don't know why he's here...again...facing yet another thing, another new thing, another thing with possible surgeries and potential complications. Thus, my "Why?"

I asked this "Why" question of Nora, an older nurse who placed JM's PIC line on Tuesday afternoon. We had just met and we talked as she worked with JM...I learned that she was a Christian so I confided my thoughts to her about my questioning God as to "why" JM was having to go through this new thing...when really I was just complaining that I had to go through it myself. She listened to me, and then suggested that instead of asking God "Why?", I might hear God saying "Why not?" Did He have something for me to learn in this situation, and maybe I needed to ask God what or who I am here for. She later told me she knew God sent her to care for JM because she needed to learn patience from him in the middle of the bad day she was having.

So, I prayed this morning and asked God to show me His plan in the middle of all of this medical care, and to show me who I was here to reach out to. You know, of course, He answered me!

Danielle, a young pregnant mom, was JM's nursing assistant today. Right from the start she asked me questions about JM and his spina bifida. I didn't think twice about it cause I just thought she was interested in learning. But, at the end of the day she let me know that she has been having a lot of testing done on the baby she is carrying. This is her second pregnancy, and she is considered high risk. It finally hit me...I was here for her. I didn't get to ask her, but I think she is concerned about her child having a birth defect. I tried to be encouraging to her and answer her questions, but we were interrupted and didn't get to finish our talk before she went home. JM will be here for at least a week, so I am hoping we will get a chance to talk again.

I am still questioning God on this hospital stay. He says that He is in the middle of it all, but it is so hard to see my son go through the challenges of medical treatment for his very complex condition. God wants me to trust Him and allow Him to direct this...so I am learning to let go and let Him have His way.

Please pray for me.

my daughter has tattoos, piercings and plugs

2008-07-06T22:29:00.000-05:00

We are back from Cornerstone Music Festival...we were there for 4 days of music, sun and dust! The music was LOUD, the sun was HOT and the dust was everywhere. It was fun to spend these days together as a family with 20,000 other hot, sweaty music lovers.

There is a whole world of diversity out there in Christian music-land...you don't even know about it until you go to an event like this...Jesus is creative and so are His children...there are hardcore, metal, punk, goth, scene kids, hippies, skin heads and regular suburban youth group kids...all together in the same place for the same thing...to hear bands play songs about Jesus in their preferred styles of music.

Being able to love and accept and talk to others who are WAY different than me has been a bit scary for me...but, as a mother who has a daughter with tattoos, a nose piercing, and plugs I am learning to look past these differences and see the person on the inside. And that's what I want for my daughter...for people to see the beauty of who she is as a person, to see her joy and commitment to Jesus, and not to judge her for how she 'looks' on the outside.

Jesus says He looks at our hearts...not at how we dress or how we do our hair, nor does He judge us by the kind of music we listen to...but He looks at the real 'us' on the inside...that's the 'us' He really loves.

Now this is the way I want to look at others...the same way Jesus does!

my heart is set on pilgrimage

2008-06-21T10:06:00.000-05:00

Blessed are those whose strength is in You,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion...

O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in You.

Psalm 84: 5-7, 12

My heart is set on this path that is laid before me. No shortcuts for me. No stops along the way to keep me there. God's plan is for me to travel this way until I reach the end.

As the Lord strengthens me I pray that the low places will be filled with joy and that they will become a place of refreshment for those who come after me.

another year in the life

2008-05-27T11:52:00.000-05:00

this is the day
John Mark turns 24

we spent this past weekend in the hospital
the same place he came the day he was born

sending him off the first time I knew nothing of what would be ahead
for him
or for us

but God knew
and He has lead us through valleys and over mountains and
beside still waters
never leaving our side

Thank you, Heavenly Father
for bringing us
to where we are now

and for promising to never leave us or forsake us
whatever our future may hold

24

2008-05-22T17:13:00.000-05:00

Someone is turning 24 in just a few days!!!

Really...where has the time gone?

And do I look old enough to have a child this age?

Don't answer that!!!

cousins & silliness

2008-05-17T23:11:00.000-05:00

Right Side Up?

or Upside Down?

old friends and good friends

2008-05-17T22:25:00.000-05:00

Breakfast in Tiffin, Ohio with our favorite person in the whole world...Pam!

Old friends...good friends...good old friends...whichever way you say it we are all, certainly, a lot older than when we first met! We moved to Newark, Ohio in 1985 when Mark was hired for his first youth pastor's position at Pam's church. JM was one, Pam was 14, and Mark and I were 23 years younger! We have been friends ever since we met, but have been separated for several years by distance and life's circumstances. It was so good to be together again!

We were in Tiffin this week for Pam's wedding! She and Jerry were married by Mark on Thursday evening. It was a joy for us to be a part of their special day, and to be reunited with Pam and her family after so long.

John Mark's story

2008-05-15T13:21:00.003-05:00

Our son, John Mark, is a 27 year old young man who loves contemporary Christian music and going to his favorite bands' concerts; he never wants to miss church on Sunday, and is a faithful fan of his favorite sports teams: the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago Bulls and the Green Bay Packers. Plus, he is a true extrovert...he loves to be out doing something with people...going to movies, restaurants and youth group. And, he has a solid faith in the Lord!

He was also born with a genetic birth defect, called DiGeorge Syndrome, that includes spina bifida, hydrocephalus, autistic tendencies, and ulcerative colitis. These terms are unfamiliar to many, but to him, they are just a part of who he is.

His whole life has been filled with a variety of surgeries, doctors visits and medical procedures. But several years ago John Mark faced the biggest challenge of his life. We had just moved to the Chicago area where my husband is pastoring a church. After completing four years of high school, John Mark was ready to get a part time job here in town. His health was good and we were looking forward to settling into our new life here.

But soon John Mark's health started to deteriorate and he was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Within a matter of weeks he developed a rare infection called toxic megacolon and needed emergency surgery to remove his large intenstines. He was in ICU for 6 weeks, in the hospital for 12 weeks total, and then spent the summer in rehab. It has taken him quite sometime to recover from all of this, but it has been worth it...he is here and he is doing well...but this latest surgery has left him with the need for full time assistance with medical care.

My life has also changed as a result of all this...I have chosen to be John Mark's full time caregiver, being with him to help him do things he is now unable to do for himself. We are so grateful to the Lord for providing for all of John Mark's needs and for preserving his life for the purposes He has in mind.

measuring our trials

2008-05-05T23:25:00.001-05:00

Have you ever considered how many things in our lives are measured in some way, either by us or for us? Our height, weight, temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, shoe size, clothing size, food portions, ingredients for baking, driving miles, hours we work, medication, homerun distance, student grades, intelligence levels...the list is endless.

God measures things, too. Here is just one of His ways.

" If the trials of many years were gathered into one, they would overwhelm us; therefore, in pity to our little strength, He sends first one, and then another, then removes both, and lays on a third, heavier, perhaps, than either;

But all is measured to our strength that the bruised reed is never broken. We do not look enough at our trials in this continuous and successive view. Each one is sent to teach us something, and altogether they have a lesson which is beyond the power of any to teach alone." H.E. Manning

God wisely measures our trials to our strengths. Wow! That He cares enough for me and He knows me well enough to measure the amount of suffering I go through is an amazing thing to consider. Some of the trials that I have faced have seemed to me, at the time, to be way too much more than I could bear. But, here I am, today, on the other side of those trials...alive and well...I wasn't overcome and God knew what I had the strength to handle. And, I came out stronger for having gone through it. I was given just the right amount of trial to bear according to His great measuring abilities.

How has God measured your trials to your strengths? What have you faced that you can now say that God has allowed just the right amount of?

Mission

2008-04-23T16:13:00.000-05:00

Our daughter, Alyssa, is preparing for a mission trip she and others from Rockford Master's Commission will be taking next month. I know that she would appreciate your prayers!

On May 10th her team will be going to Los Angeles, CA to work with the inner city outreach program of a ministry called The Dream Center. They will get their assignments once they arrive, and will be working with the mission until they return home May 18th.

Alyssa has worked hard with her studies this year at RMC, will graduate from the first year program on June 15, and plans to go back for the second year of the program next fall.

I can't wait to have her home for the summer...I miss having her around the house to talk to! Plus, it's always fun to visit her when she works at Starbucks!!!

island fun

2008-04-21T11:13:00.001-05:00

I am home from vacation...relaxed, happy and slightly tan...my tube of spf 50 was my friend this week...the sun and I do not get along.

I brought a few things home with me from St. Thomas...gifts for my family...fancy little bottles of shampoo and shower gel...bug bites...and LOTS of good memories! One of them is playing many games of 'Go, Fish' with my niece, Amanda. She, of course, beat me most of the time! Don't let that cute, innocent smile fool you...she's good!

Relaxing on the beach while watching the waves roll in...spending time with Dana, Adam and Amanda...playing tennis...watching the movie 'Enchanted' twice, then singing the movie's songs while dancing around our room...eating a late night dinner out under the stars by the ocean...these are just a few of the other things I won't forget.

But my favorite memory will be teaching my niece the one 'Stupid Human Trick' that I am known for in my family...no one has ever wanted to learn how to do it until Amanda asked me to teach her. So, I happily revealed how to do this awe inspiring trick. Can you guess what it is?

If you guessed crossing one eye you got it right! Congratulations!!! If that wasn't your answer I'm too afraid to ask what you thought we were doing! Please keep that to yourself.

So, that was just a small glimpse into a great week that was made possible by Dana and Adam, and by my loving husband, Mark, who stayed home to care for JM so I could get away and take a break...he even gave me roses when I got off the plane!

I should have been the one giving him the flowers!

vacation

2008-04-14T20:35:00.000-05:00

Just in case you were wondering where I am this week...

http://www.ritzcarltonclub.com/ritz-carlton-luxury-destinations/st-thomas.asp

God is good!

family fun

2008-04-08T12:09:00.000-05:00

(click cartoon to enlarge)

I LOVE this cartoon...it makes me laugh everytime I read it because it reminds me of how my children feel about their aunts, and about how my nieces and nephews feel about me. We are all so excited when we have the chance to be together, and we have such fun hanging out with each other...and yes, occasionally, presents are involved!

Well, this coming week will be filled with lots of fun for me! I am going to spend the whole week with my 5 yr old niece, Amanda, (along with her Mom, my sister, and her Dad). Yay! I can't wait to draw and color, play hide and seek, and swim and splash in the pool with her...she is so much fun...five is an awesome age to be...so, if I come home acting a little 'immature' for my age, you will know that Amanda and I had lots of fun together!

a question

2008-04-03T20:37:00.000-05:00

'Mom, what was the one thing I really liked to do when I was a little girl?'

Alyssa called me from her dorm last night to ask me this question. She is 21 and I am 51...that was a long time ago for this aging brain!

At first I couldn't remember...I became concerned as she waited for my answer...you know how you love to hear stories about yourself when you were younger, and how fun it is to get a glimpse of yourself from a time you don't recall that clearly? Alyssa was looking for just that kind of insight into herself, and I was not coming up with anything to tell her.

All I could think of was how much fun she was as a child. So we started there, and, as our conversation progressed, we came to the realization that she never liked to do just one thing, she liked to do many things...reading, drawing, building with Legos, rollerblading, Barbies, playing dress up with friends, and skiing.

I reminded her about a list she had written as a child that included at least 20 things she wanted to do when she grew up. She wanted to be a professional skier, a horseback rider, a baker, an artist, a professional soccer player and an architect...she had all of these careers, plus more, on this list. I was amazed because she fully believed she could do them all...at the same time!

We talked about how she now has many ideas and interests that she would love to pursue in her life, and how nothing has really changed since she was a child. Who she was then is who she is now...and that was a blessing to discover in answer to her question. She is a young woman who has an open heart to serve the Lord in whatever way He has planned for her...she hasn't placed any limits on Him and sees so many opportunities before her.

I'm so glad she called...it brought back such good memories...and gave me hope for even better ones in the future!

you might like this

2008-04-02T09:56:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to let you know about this great blog called Rocks in My Dryer. The author is really fun to read...and each Wednesday she hosts Works for me Wednesday. She invites anyone to post a tip on anything they have learned on any (G-rated) topic--anything that has "worked" for them in making their life easier. You won't believe how many creative ideas people have come up with!

I haven't posted there yet, but I plan to next week! How about you? Any ideas you would like to share? It should be fun!

play ball!

2008-03-31T22:33:00.000-05:00

The Chicago Cubs lost their home opener today...we were sad, but not without hope because we believe that this really could be the year that they finally make it to the World Series! Don't laugh...it could happen!
Go, Cubs!

total trust

2008-03-30T20:43:00.000-05:00

This thought struck me today as I was on my way home from the grocery store:

'What am I getting in return from John Mark while I am giving him so much help with his life?'

I have to admit that my first thought was 'nothing much'...but I was quickly convicted about that answer. While it seems to me that his care 'takes' up so much of my time and energy, I soon realized one very important way, among many, that JM does give back to me.

John Mark gives me his total trust with his life.

Wow! He never questions my intentions or love for him when it comes to major decisions that have to be made in regard to his health and care. I can tell him (and I have soooo many times) that he needs to have an xray, or a blood test, or surgery for something and he goes along with me to the hospital to have it done...or I tell him he has to take his medicine...and he does. He trusts me and believes that I have his best interest at heart...that I'm not going to harm him and that I only want to do him good.

Now, he does complain if I am making something for dinner that he doesn't want to eat, or if he has to watch American Idol with me when he really wants to watch the Bulls game! But, with major decisions that affect his life, he gives me his full trust. He doesn't second guess me on the important stuff.

How many times have I complained and questioned my heavenly Father's care for me? I second guess Him all the time...my trust comes and goes with my circumstances. I have a lot to learn about trusting from my son.

we are glad

2008-03-26T16:40:00.000-05:00

We had good news today...John Mark's xrays showed that, as a result of his most recent surgery, all of the fluid that was around his right lung is now gone! Praise the Lord! He has not been feeling the best since October, but now his energy level and breathing are back to normal. We are glad!

Who cares for the caregivers?

2008-03-24T21:45:00.000-05:00

I saw a Walgreens commercial this morning that made me cry. Alright, don't laugh...but it really was a good one...at least one I could relate to.

Here is a brief description:
A young woman is caring for an elderly man...she gives him the sandwich she made for him...then someone hands her a sandwich for herself...she then covers him with a blanket while he sits in a chair...and then she sits down beside him and someone covers her with a blanket. Their point was that Walgreens would be there to help meet the caregivers needs as they cared for their family members. Rather simple...but powerful to me.

It got me to thinking: I wish someone would make me a sandwich! Okay, then the thought hit me: Who cares for the caregivers like me and the other moms and family members who are giving of themselves to meet the needs of those they love, whether it's a child, a young adult or an aging family member?

As a full time caregiver to our son, John Mark, I get so caught up in caring for his needs, that my own seem to be forgotten...or are they really? I find that I somehow manage to meet some kind of need in my life when I'm struggling with self pity and feeling alone and overwhelmed...but am I meeting the real needs I have or just filling up on garbage and junk?

The Bible says that the Lord will take care of all my needs...but do I let Him? I have turned to several other places to have my needs filled...food, TV, shopping online or via QVC...okay, you're laughing again...or maybe relating to me and you have your own things you turn to to fill the void like I do. Why don't we turn to the Lord first? And why don't I turn to the support system I already have in place around me...a loving husband who shares so much of the caregiving with me...my family and friends who also love me and pray for me and encourage me...and my God who knows everything about me and what I am doing?

Don't misunderstand me...I do go to the Lord when things are tough...and He has ALWAYS been there for me...He has met me in the really dark and difficult places in such special ways...as well as in the everyday routine of living...it's just that my 'default' is to try to get what I need myself...and not ask Him for His help right away.

Well, that's just me...now how about you? What are some ways that your needs are met in the midst of caring for loved ones?

He leads me beside still waters...

2008-03-17T08:04:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I had the blessing of attending the Hearts at Home conference...God is so good...the speakers, worship, workshops, information, and time alone with the Lord all worked together to give me the encouragement, direction, discipline and ideas that I needed.

Being a stay at home Mom with a special needs child takes its toll...yet the Lord somehow filled in the empty spots...and I am ready to go back to it all again...Thank you, Jesus!

we're home from the hospital!

2008-03-12T01:51:00.000-05:00

Yes, we're home...all three of us! It feels so good to sleep in our own beds again.

But most important is that JM is doing great and is recovering quickly...we thank you for your prayers!

another reason to trust

2008-03-10T09:47:00.000-05:00

Our son, John Mark, is still in the hospital this morning since having surgery Friday afternoon. There have been some complications with his breathing, and we are waiting to learn about some test results this morning...then we will know if he needs another procedure today or if we will get to come home...you can guess what our choice is!

At some point I will be giving more background into what has gone on in his life these past 23 years...but for now I just want to say that the Lord has John Mark's life in His hands.

Sending him off to surgery each time doesn't get any easier...but as I titled this post...it gives us another reason to trust the Lord with JM's life and with our own, as well.

He has NEVER failed us...and I praise Him for that!

21st

2008-01-04T16:15:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was our daughter, Alyssa's 21st birthday!
(Here she is with her cousin)

She is currently attending her first year of a discipleship program here in Illinois. Her heart's desire is to serve the Lord in whatever way He directs her...and this program is preparing her for ministry, mission and life. She will be going on a mission trip to Bosnia in early May. We are so proud of her and thankful that she loves Jesus.

Well, my reason for writing is to share just part of a beautiful note that my husband wrote to her in her birthday card...

'For a man to have a daughter is a special blessing, but to have one who likes the same kinds of food and music and sports - Wow! (note: they both love to snowboard)

'For a Christian parent to have a child that loves Jesus Christ is a special blessing, too! but to have one as serious and sincere as you are now is beyond what I imagined!

'and finally, for a husband to have a daughter that creates such joy and happiness for his wife (as well as a few other emotions occasionally *smiley face*) this is so special to watch!

'I love you always-and am thankful you are mine!' Love, Dad

I am so thankful for a husband who loves our daughter. He is a good man, and faithful to me and our family. I am grateful for this note of blessing he gave to Alyssa.

...time marches on...

2008-01-04T15:49:00.000-06:00

(excerpt from my first journal entry of '08)

1.2.08
...time marches on...
- 51 years of life
- 32 years since I gave You my life
- 26 years of marriage
- 23 years as a mother

Just a few milestones of my life...and I'm just one person in this vast world and its long history...
just me...a part of all of it.

one woman born
into one family then
in one marriage
with one family
one - out of many
one small part of many.

another year in another life
of one woman
one person and her God.

a new year
a beginning for me
a new chapter
in the one story
of my life.

I want that armor covered in rubies
not a cloak of mourning, sadness, discouragement or depression

Armed for doing something important and worthwhile

armed for battle

a servant soldier

A good year to come.